Fishear
Fishear

寫作者,獨立人類學人。著有人類學田野故事集《邊緣的姿態》,人間飲食故事集《好吃的故事》。網站《魚書》主筆:http://fishletter.art 。一封郵件就能聯繫:ear@fishletter.art 在創作中,你我相遇。

this is how war comes

One day in France in early March 2022, I want to record how war came to ordinary people.

"Early in the morning, I was lying in bed sleeping when my dad rushed in and yelled, 'The war has started', you have to fly back home!" I was still in a daze, okay What war started. Unexpectedly, what my dad said was true."

On the phone, Xiaoni's voice was tired and hoarse, and she spoke slowly with a slight Romanian accent in her French. Xiao Ni is a Romanian. After graduating from a university with a doctorate in psychology, she opened a small psychological clinic in France. In February 2022, it was the first time she returned to Romania after the start of the new crown. It has been two years since the epidemic spread. Although she was in the European continent and it was only a few hours by plane, she just couldn't return home. Once I go back, I have to risk infection first, and I have to be quarantined for another 14 days. After being quarantined, my family is still worried that she will bring the new crown, and the air ticket is expensive. For her, who has just started freelancing, not only does she have no income when she suspends her job, she also has to pay rent. So I dragged on and did not return to China for two years.

But this time, why did Xiaoni go back?

It still starts with her father. Xiaoni's mother died young, and there is only one father who is a retired soldier in the family. He is in his sixties and lives alone. But in 2021, Dad began to have physical problems. He was checked in the hospital and found a tumor in his stomach, but it was not malignant at all. He has always wanted to have surgery, but the new crown epidemic in Romania continues to worsen. First Delta, then Omicron, the hospital is crowded with severe patients with new crowns, and the operation has not been scheduled. Dad can only leave his phone number to the hospital, and keep his cell phone turned on 24 hours a day, waiting for the operation call all the time, just like a patient who needs an organ transplant, waiting for an organ all the time.

By the end of 2021, the operation is still far away, and my father's physical and mental state is getting worse. It was almost Christmas, and when he woke up one morning, he felt a sharp pain in his heart and couldn't breathe. After thinking twice, he called Xiaoni. On the phone, my usually very strong father cried. He said that recently he often felt difficult to breathe. "

Xiao Ni leaned against the subway door, listening to her father's phone call. She didn't know whether Dad had a panic attack or a heart problem. As an only child, far away in France, how can I not worry about Christmas? She was holding the phone when she was bumped hard by a man. When she realized it, the phone had been snatched away by him. The subway was just at the station and the door opened, and the man quickly jumped over the crowd and rushed out.

"I didn't have time to react, the subway door closed again, and my mobile phone just disappeared." Xiaoni said.

When school started in January, Xiaoni's psychological clinic was full again. Many children have behavioral and cognitive problems due to constant conflicts between their parents during the COVID-19 period. She received a five-year-old child. Like other children under the age of six, little ones do not have to wear masks, according to French government regulations. During the treatment, the child got acquainted with her and quietly told her a secret: "I have the new crown, please tell me before mom comes, otherwise you won't let me come."

After the consultation, Xiaoni's throat began to feel uncomfortable that night, and she hurried to check the next day, and she was hit by Omicron.

During the isolation period, Xiao Ni was lying on the bed all the time, and her father called one night, saying that his surgery was finally scheduled for the next morning. He also just received the call, it was very sudden, but it was finally done.

Xiao Ni told her father that she had the new crown. Dad became more anxious: "How did you get the new crown? How could you get the new crown?!"

The operation of her father and her own new crown made Xiaoni determined to return to Romania in February. First, she took care of her father after the operation. Second, because February is the spring break, the children in the psychological clinic will go skiing, and the number of appointments is relatively small. Of course, the most important thing is that if she recovers from the new crown, according to Romania's epidemic prevention policy, she can go home directly without isolation.

Before returning home, after recovering, Nite went to various pharmacies and bought a lot of medicines, health care products, and cosmetics. Her family, whom I haven’t seen for two years, everyone wants to greet and give gifts. They like France and French products, and they like her when she comes back from France. They have so many stories to tell, so much heartbreak to pour out. In Romania, there are not many psychologists, and Xiaoni is the only one in the family, so people have to hurry up.

Back in Romania, Xiao Ni, in addition to taking care of her father who always wants to move around regardless of the wound, has to deal with all kinds of things accumulated in the family in the past two years: some people have attempted suicide, some have cheated, some have divorced, and some have depression. People invited her to dinner and tea and then they cried and always ended up asking her the question: why don't you have children in France?

Xiaoni thought that she would spend the rest of the week in Romania in such compulsory consultation and forced birth. However, on the morning of February 24, she was woken up by her father's shout of "the war has begun".

Cemetery and statue of Madonna in early spring in a small town in France

Dad panicked. As a Navy ex-serviceman, he knows what war is all about. Romania borders Ukraine to the north. This country, once occupied by the Soviets in 1940, is still classified as Ukrainian territory to this day. In 1944, the Soviet Union invaded Romania, which belonged to the German camp at that time. Since then, Romania has officially entered the camp of the Allies. After that, under the influence of the Soviet Union, the monarchy was abolished here and a socialist regime was established. The Romanian Workers' Party, later renamed the Communist Party of Romania, ruled here for nearly forty years, until the Romanian Revolution that shocked the world in 1989, and shot the dictator Ceausescu and his wife. Romania also ushered in a democratization process and joined NATO in 2004 , joined the European Union in 2007, Romania has been moving closer to the west. However, in the 20th century history of this country, the Russians in the East have always been like nightmares, having great influence and coveting on their politics and territory. The Ukrainian war started, and Romania, as a neighboring country, also smelled danger for the first time. After all, those who dare to use hot weapons to attack sovereign countries in the 21st century, what stupid things can't they do?

Xiaoni's father was worried, because of his illness, he couldn't run, and even had difficulty walking. But once the war expands, Romania also needs to defend the country, and soldiers must go to the battlefield. In recent years, the Romanian government’s financial investment in the military has become increasingly tight. They think that since they have joined NATO, why should they invest so much money in the military? Even if you are seventy or eighty years old, you must go to the battlefield with weapons. Stories of eighty-two-year-old Ukrainian veterans being brought back to fight the Russians were continuously broadcast on Romanian television. Xiao Ni's father is not afraid of going to the battlefield, however, he is afraid that his old and sick body will become cannon fodder before he gets up. He was even more afraid that his daughter would be involved in a possibly expanded killing because she came to visit her.

So, that morning, he rushed in anxiously and told Xiao Ni to leave.

Xiao Ni was in a state of confusion, so she quickly changed her flight back to France to February 28th. When I went out to buy things, I realized that the supermarket was full of people, and the price of food had doubled from the day before. Xiaoni was walking on the street, and found that there were more and more people on the street. She finally recognized that those carrying suitcases were Ukrainians. They crossed the border from their own country and walked to Romania. On this day, various social organizations in Romania have also united to deliver food, medicine and resettlement to Ukrainian refugees.

On February 28, Xiao Ni took a taxi to the airport. On the way, the taxi driver said to her: "The war is coming, they will definitely fight Romania, those Russians! You leave, and I will leave here soon gone."

Xiao Ni asked, "Which country are you going to?"

The taxi driver said: "Where can I go, Romania is my country, I can only park the taxi and move to the countryside."

At the airport, Xiaoni witnessed for the first time what war is. She has never seen such an airport, it is full of dark people, full of parting, the children from Ukraine are crying in the arms of their mothers, couples are also crying in despair when parting, the old people look melancholy, as if there is no tomorrow. Xiaoni finally got through the crowd and squeezed onto the plane. When she flew out of Romania, she felt that she had experienced a panic attack: would a blind missile fired at a neighboring country suddenly change course and shoot at herself? s plane?

But Xiaoni returned to France safely. She sent a message to my group of friends: "Girls, how are you? I didn't expect that as soon as I returned to China, the war would start."

Another Chinese girl in the group replied: "My mother asked me yesterday if there is a basement downstairs."

"I also took a look at the anti-nuclear pollution mask from the Internet." Another friend replied.

Everyone laughed, and they each sent a profile picture laughing helplessly with tears in their eyes.

Today is March 3, 2022. Later, Xiaoni called me and told me about the war.

I told Xiaoni what I had seen in the morning. On the morning of March 3, I went to the supermarket and suddenly found that there were so many people in the supermarket. The last time I saw such a scene was before the new crown closed the city. Many people were hoarding several bags of beans, flour, peanuts and the like that could be hoarded. Foodstuffs, while the price of meat has risen by almost thirty per cent. It was only then that I realized that the war was approaching. This was the consequence of the French President Marco’s televised speech on the evening of March 2: Although France did not participate in the war, due to the war, Ukrainian food could not enter, and Russia’s crude oil trading was reduced or even terminated. The difficult times that eventually led to soaring prices in France have finally arrived.

When I woke up on March 4th, the Russians bombed Ukraine’s largest nuclear power plant in Europe at night, and the reactor caught fire and was being extinguished. I shared the news on my circle of friends, and a doctor friend in China who I’ve known for a long time asked me in a private message: “Really? Could it be framed?"

"Who blamed whom?"

"The Americans blew up the nuclear power plant and blamed Russia."

Looking up and looking out the window, the sky is finally bright, the sun is rising, and it is a new day. The garbage collectors, as usual, drove the car, poured the black plastic bags from the dark green trash cans on the street into the car, and roared away. The French city woke up amidst the noise, cars were rushing forward, and ordinary people were hurrying to go to their assigned jobs. On the other side of the city, the Friday morning market is also waking up. Vendors carried boxes of tender green lettuce, light brown kiwi fruit, and bright red strawberries from Spain from trucks. Old people, carrying baskets and shopping bags, were already waiting in front of the stalls to select ingredients. Not far away, the two pink and white magnolias beside the building are in full bloom. Like all plants in early spring, they have no worries, and they are steadfastly welcoming the third spring after the plague began-this one is finally gone. In the spring of the city closure, ten days later, there is finally no need to show the vaccine pass. However, all of these things, the stability and peace that people once hoped for, hoped for, and longed for in this plague, are so within reach, and may never come again.





CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

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